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Unforgiving, Unforgiven
Matthew
6:12
“Forgive us our debts as we
forgive our debtors” (Matthew 6:12 KJV).
Does a dark cloud rise up inside of you when you think of certain people?
Does your stomach churn and your jaw get stiff? Who is it that has hurt
you? Do you have the names of
people who have made you feel this way for years? If you could bring justice to them
today, what would you do?
A fellow went to the hospital to visit
his partner, dying of some unknown cause. The dying man turned and said,
"John, before I go, I must confess some things to you and ask your
forgiveness. I know I'm dying. I want you to know that I robbed the firm
of $100,000, I sold our secret formula to our competitors, and I'm the
fellow who supplied your wife with the evidence that helped her get a
divorce which cost you a fortune."
John mumbled, "That's okay, old
man. Just relax and lie still. I'm the guy who poisoned you."
The fifth petition of the Lord’s
Prayer seems simple enough, and it would be if the Lord had simply said
“Forgive us our debt.”
But he didn’t. We
would understand this petition perfectly if the Lord had stopped with the
words, “Forgive us our debts,” but he didn’t.
We all understand that
we need to confess our sins and ask for forgiveness. We know that confession
and repentance are part of what prayer is all about. What makes this
prayer so frustrating is that Jesus adds a little phrase “as we
forgive our debtors.” Yikes!
What appears to be a simple prayer is all of sudden not so simple.
It seems as if Jesus is saying,
“The way you treat other people is the way God will treat
you.” On one level that
thought is puzzling; on another it is profoundly disquieting. On still
another level it appears to present a major theological difficulty.
Because this verse is difficult, let me give you the conclusion at the
very beginning of this sermon. This verse means exactly what it says. The
teaching of this verse can be given in one simple sentence: Unless you
forgive, God will not forgive you. I repeat, this verse means exactly
what it says. There is nothing hidden here; there is nothing tricky here.
Jesus is saying that unless you forgive, you will not be forgiven.
St. Augustine, the 4th century Christian and
theologian called this text “a terrible petition.” He pointed
out that if you pray these words while harboring an unforgiving spirit,
you are actually asking God not to forgive you. Ponder that for a moment.
If you pray “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors”
while refusing to forgive those who have wronged you, this prayer which
is meant to be a blessing becomes a self-inflicted curse. In that case
you are really saying, “O God, since I have not forgiven my
brother, please do not forgive me.” That is why Charles Haddon
Spurgeon, the great English preacher, said that if you pray the
Lord’s Prayer with an unforgiving spirit, you have virtually signed
your own “death-warrant.”
Unless you forgive you will not be forgiven. To refuse to forgive someone
else and then to ask God for forgiveness is a kind of spiritual
schizophrenia. You are asking God to give you what you are unwilling to
give to someone else. The fifth petition of the Lord’s Prayer tells
us you cannot have it both ways. Do you want to be forgiven? You must
forgive others.
But does the Bible really teach
that God’s forgiveness of us is somehow linked to our forgiveness
of others? Yes, indeed it does. Let’s go back to the words of
Jesus. The fifth petition is in verse 12. Now drop down two verses. The
Lord’s Prayer is over but Jesus is still speaking.
For
if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will
also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father
will not forgive your sins (6:14-15).
I call one crucial fact
to your attention: Jesus has just given us the Lord’s Prayer and
the only part that he singles out for additional commentary is the fifth
petition. All the others he leaves alone. I believe he offered further
commentary because he knew that we would feel uncomfortable with this part
of the Lord’s Prayer. He knew that we would try to wiggle out from
under it. That is why in verses 14-15 he spells it out so clearly that no
one can doubt it.
Having said that can we be saying that our forgiving disposition somehow
earns God’s forgiveness? That
the forgiveness of our debts is based on our merits our good works? Absolutely not. The scripture clearly teaches that the
forgiveness of our sins is based on God’s unmerited favor….it
is by his grace that we are saved….its a gift of God …not as
result of works. However this
statement of Jesus fits perfectly with what scripture teaches with
respect to the genuiness of our faith.
We here James saying something very similar when he says,
“Faith without works is dead.” Do your works save
you…do they earn you your salvation? No. Can you be saved without good
works? No. Because if you have faith…true
faith….you will have good works. Much in the same way that works
are required by God…and yet they are not meritorious… so is
forgiveness God’s requirement that we forgive.
If you are a
Christian—a genuine believer in Jesus Christ—you will forgive
others. Why? Because God has already forgiven your sins 100% by the blood
of Jesus Christ…and He has placed His spirit within you. If you
have the Spirit of Jesus living in you…you will forgive.
Martin
Lloyd Jones says it this way: "The man who knows he has been
forgiven, only in and through the shed blood of Christ, is a man who must
forgive others. He cannot help himself. If we really know Christ as our
Savior our hearts are broken and cannot be hard, and we cannot refuse
forgiveness."
I don’t think our
real problem however is theological. Our real problem is personal. We
don’t see ourselves as very great sinners; therefore, we do not
appreciate how greatly God has forgiven us. IF we understood how much God has
forgiven us then forgiving others would not be quite so difficult.
So let me ask you, how do we know when we have truly forgiven? What does
forgiveness look like? The answer will vary depending on the person
involved and what they did to you. Here are a few helpful guidelines:
1. Face what they did and forgive them anyway.
2. Don’t keep bringing it up to them.
3. Don’t talk about it to others.
4. Show mercy instead of judgment.
5. Refuse to speak evil of others.
6. Choose not to dwell on it.
7. Pray for them.
8. Ask God to bless them.
9. Do not rejoice at their calamities.
10. Help them when you can.
In giving this list, I do not mean to imply that we must do all ten
things every time before we can say we have truly forgiven another
person. However, we would do well to take this list and dwell on it,
think about it, pray over it, and ask ourselves some hard questions.
Someone says,
“But I can’t forgive.” No, don’t ever say that.
The word “can’t” is ultimately a cop-out. The issue is
deeper than that. We won’t forgive. If you are a true Christian, a genuine
believer in Jesus Christ, if your sins have been washed away, then you
can forgive. It may take time, because the wounds are fresh, but if your desire
is to be like Jesus then by God’s grace he will give you the
ability to forgive. What God has done for you, He will enable you to do
for others.
Let’s me stop this morning with two
simple statements of application.
1. You are never closer to the grace of Jesus Christ than when you
confess your sins to him.
When
you cry out, “God be merciful to me, a sinner,” you will find
that the Father will not turn you away.
2. You are never more
like Jesus than when you forgive those who have sinned against you.
Do
you want to be like Jesus? Become a great forgiver.
There are many in the world who have not yet discovered what
Jesus is like. But they can if we truly forgive.
The word of the Lord remains. Unless you forgive you will not be
forgiven.
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Baptist Sermon page.
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